Look for Yourself as the Cause
I cause my world. I always have. It’s always been me.
There’s nothing to fear out there. It’s in here — in me.
I will look for myself as the cause: in every moment, in every situation.
Agreement 1 says, “Going forward, I’m not a passenger. I’m the driver.” Agreement 9 says, “I’m the one who’s been driving. It’s me. It always has been, and it always will be.”
What am I saying? To feel fully empowered — moving forward — you must develop 20/20 vision looking backward. The same agency that shapes your future also explains your past. You didn’t just arrive here. You drove here.
Toward the end of 1982, I was asked to play warm-up for Kenny Loggins at the Marriott Center in Provo, Utah. About 8,000 people were there. When they announced my name — “Utah’s own John Canaan” — the crowd went wild. It was awesome. For a moment.
I sat down on my stool with my guitar, strummed once to get grounded — and it was out of tune. Not a little. A lot. Nervous as I was, I couldn’t tune it no matter what I tried. Finally, in what might be one of the more unusual moments in concert history, I turned to the audience and actually asked: “Does anyone know how to tune a guitar?” Nothing.
After a couple of agonizing renditions of original songs, I limped over to the keyboard. I hit a few keys — and it was distorting. Badly. Like a horror movie.
Kenny Loggins himself stood in the wings, watching in apparent disbelief. On his way to his own performance, he fell 7 feet off the edge of the stage and broke his ribs. I still feel partly responsible for that.
I did hear later, that while recovering from his fall, Kenny wrote “Footloose”- so some good came out of that night, at least for him.
Not so much for me though, other than the insights I can share in this chapter. So, back to the story:
The next morning I went back to collect my things. The promoter was there. He was upset — told me he’d never use me again.