“By Small & Simple Things”

It’s easy to talk about some of the big ideas we’ll cover below, like “Embracing both ends of the stick” or reconciling yourself with the spiritual magic of the “perfect storm” etc. Here’s the thing: It all means nothing without your willingness to develop couple rituals.

I use the word ritual vs. habit because for me it connotes something warmer and more magical than any of our regular habits like daily planning, or taking our vitamins.

When I was very young, one of our family traditions was going with my brothers and Dad to “Ye Old Donuts” in San Diego, close to the beach. We went most Saturday mornings. I loved those donuts. I loved the tradition.

My rituals with my own kids revolve around movies. We’re all such movie buffs. Our “Its a Wonderful Life” gathering with George Bailey and “Groundhog Day” are, as I mentioned, warm and magical for me. I love watching these same two movies over and over again with my kids. Each of these films has deep meaning to our family.

Rituals are at the heart of Couple GPS objectives.

I was in a meeting with a couple recently. After 30 years of marriage, they seemed buried below layers of emotional sediment- disappointments, betrayal, conflict & hurt. I could see they were discouraged. “It’s an interesting thing” I said, “Problems are complicated. Solutions are simple.”

Interestingly this couple had attended tens of thousands of dollars worth of relationships, life mastery and other consciousness trainings. Yet, what I said in this moment seemed to strike them. It did me too.

Alma put it like this, “By small and simple things are great things brought to pass.”

Think for a moment of a large, 200,000 ton ship. There are simple, small movements, occurring every day, that not only keep the ship on course but put it back on course even after blowing into treacherous waters.

Couples GPS is a collection of small, simple rituals that will open your hearts to each other, increase you enjoyment of each other and assist you in working through differences and issues in a peaceful, synergistic way.

Examples of small, simple CGPS rituals that create huge results:

• Walking together - fostering health, intimacy and conflict resolution. CGPS is huge on taking walks with your spouse. We’ll get into this in the “Nightly Check-In” ritual.
• Praying together - creating what Dr. John Lund describes as emotional and spiritual vulnerability.
• Learning to be a better listener - such a sweet and simple balm for so much hurt.
• Date night - duh.
• Monthly Private Retreats - overnighters, fun, and most of all, getting to know each other.

The CGPS rituals can simply be a jumping off spot. Use what you feel good about. Change it. Adapt it to your needs. Combine some of it with existing rituals, but most importantly, determine that, going forward, the power and steadiness of these kinds of small, simple rituals will exceed occasional upsets or differences.