Version A - Acronym (T.A.L.K.S.)

T. …stands for “Tell me more about _____” (whatever you’d like to hear more about) - You could reference something specific your spouse said (i.e. “Tell me more about what that was like” or perhaps just something you’re wondering about I.e. “Tell me how your meeting went” or “How are you feeling about your new project?”) Note that “T” is at the top and runs downward through “A”, “L”, “K”, & “S.”

A. … stands for “A.” - “Is there anything you’d give yourself an “A” in today and why?” and/or “What grade might you give yourself in any area and why?” or “ What was the best part of your day? - (the part that gets an "A” and why?)”

L. …stands for “Love” - “How did you give love today?” - including, how did you conquer a fear or bad feeling and replace it with love?

K. …stands for “Keep on keepin’ on” or in other words, what are you wanting and willing to recommit to today in terms of goals or habits? - or, is there anything you’d like to apoligize for? (Please only ask this question to yourself, not your spouse).

S. …stands for “Specific” i.e. “Do you have a specific request you’d like to make of yourself or of me? If it’s a request for me, please do your best to go right for the request vs. a lot of back-story or criticism.”

Instructions & Tips

  1. Nightly Check-In is best done on a short walk together but can also be done while doing dishes, taking makeup off, and brushing teeth or on the phone if one of you is out of town.
  2. As you listen and talk, be encouraging i.e. “Tell me more about_____” or “Tell me more about when you said ______”, or “That’s interesting. I didn’t realize how you see this. Tell more about your thoughts on this.” etc. **
  3. “T.A.L.K.S.” is a general content guideline. You can just naturally keep it in mind as you talk or you can each share your answers to A.L.K.S., and bring “T” in as inspired (”Tell me more…”). Alternatively you can cheerlead your spouse I.e. “You get an ‘A’ today for being an attentive spouse” or “I’m getting the feeling that you are renewing your commitment to self-care. I think that’s wonderful” and then perhaps, “I’d love to heae about what led to this.” etc.
  4. Requests should be “USA” - Unloaded (you worked out your angst before making the request), Specific (without any back story- just the specific, realistic, doable, request) and Affirmative (something specific you’d like your spouse to do, versus something you want him or her to not do).

Nightly Check-In (Extra Notes)

Version B - Recording (Advanced)

If you’re just starting with coaching, come back to this later. Do “T.A.L.K.S.” for now.

Inspired by Megan & Amanda Teerlink. Pause recording, as inspired, to share.

Meditation / Conversation

NCI Hybrid - Just Meditation - 9 23 24.mp3