Detox Your Dialogue. Rekindle Connection.

Relationship Cleanse_ Detox Your Dialogue, Rekindle Connection.wav

This chapter (Relationship Cleanse) doesn't make complete sense without using a **Request List** and doing Nightly Check-In, but please pursue each step at the speed you feel best about.

Click on the sound bar above for an audio overview of all 3 (recorded in connection with our online class):

Overview & Action Summary

You can become addicted to talking about your issues, even though the more you talk, the harder it is to solve the issues you're talking about. Why is this? Because it's not so much what you're talking about as it is the condition you're in as you talk about it.

You need to detox before you can get to any real solutions.

• Start your "Relationship Cleanse" (3 to 7 consecutive days not talking about issues or sensitive topics). Note: See instructions on "launching" your cleanse below.
• For the strong of heart this cleanse will include some strategic texting (full story below).
• Stay with it. If you both feel you basically made it through day 1, start on day 2. If not, start over on day 1.
• During your cleanse, increase your chit-chat time. Suggestions below.

Relationship Cleanse

What

For 3 to 7 consecutive days (you decide how many days), do not talk about your relationship or any sensitive subjects. If you slip, start your days again.

Why

Reason 1) Put out the fire

The Relationship Cleanse is to cleanse your relationship from a toxic build-up of relationship and issues conversations- the stale, day-to-day diet of misunderstanding and disappointment, disagreements, who's right, who's wrong, who's fault it is, trying to get your partner to cooperate with your plan for his or her life, pouting when things don’t go your way, defending yourself when your spouse is disappointed with you, etc.

All of this kind of thing is fight or flight primal wiring. You are wired to survive, and getting your spouse to love you in the way you think he or she should is the answer. Of course, that's why you committed to your spouse in the first place- because you imagined he or she would take away your insecurities. But the more he or she lets you down, the more you complain, control or disconnect, etc. in your efforts to get the love you need to survive.

This results in coming to see your spouse, not as a person, but as the reason for your anxiety and unhappiness. It’s a mess. 😮